Last night in a dream I got a glimpse of you. Maybe there was more to the dream story, but what I remember is that you and I were together just hanging out doing day-to-day stuff and joking around about it. You were an adult and our togetherness was comfortable. Maybe you visit me a lot in dreams but I usually don’t remember dreams when I wake up. But clearly this was you and we were enjoying part of an ordinary day together. You were teasing me about something. I love having you with me in that way.
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However, it is much more than a few days ago and a lot of life has continued to flow under the bridge since the last days of August 2005. A key part of my chance to mark the anniversary of your death this year was that I was able to visit your gravesite with your wonderful daughter. You must know that she is grown up now and brings a lot of goodness to this world. She and I, as we often do when we locate the stone with your name on it, shared silence and sadness and a few words with and about you. She so perfectly expressed what many of us think and feel when she softly said “He is missing so much.” How true! We are missing you, but, also, you are missing so much of what life offers – so much we would like to have shared with you.
All I want to say to you today is that I miss you. It is spring and the sun is shining and I wish you were here to see it and to have a day under its glorious light. It makes me wonder how you would use your strength and energy and humor and all of the rest that is/was you on this day. I would love to talk with you, and, better yet, to see you.